Over the past week or so, I've been working with Iggy to update his website, which had not been previously updated in about 6 years or so. The fact that he even had a website was sort of a miracle given his indifference to modern technology in general (a friend of his generously created the website for him, and still hosts it for him for free). Anyway, as part of the revamp, I'd been helping him submit the site to search engines and San Francisco business listings so I put up a hit counter on his site to see how much traffic he was getting and where it was coming from.
I used to have a counter on this site, but I gave it up four or five years ago. The decision to get rid of it was a pretty easy one for me. The only thing that counter did for me was freak me out about the fact that real people actually read the crap I write here and also occasionally made me obsess about who was reading, wondering if visitors from certain ISPs were who I thought they might be and whether I actually had a lot of readers who used AT&T or if it was one creepy person reloading my page every hour. I was definitely better off without these worries.
Abandoning my counter gave me the false sense of security that came from believing that the only people reading this site were a few family members and close friends. I've been around for a long time, but I've never been one of the really popular journals. I've never even been nominated for a diarist.net award (and no, that was not a hint)!
To get to the point, when I went to check Iggy's site's stats, I was taken aback to see that about 3/4 of his hits were coming from a link on my bio page. Granted, that still wasn't a lot of traffic, but I started thinking...if that's how many people are clicking through on that link, then at least that many are looking at the bio page every day, and those people are probably only a subset of people who read the journal, and then I got all freaked out and added a counter to my site again. Also, it made me sort of depressed because most of my readers are probably clicking on the link out of curiosity and not because they actually want to engage his services, a situation that will no doubt temporarily be exacerbated by the increase in traffic to his site I predict this entry will cause, but which I hope will eventually be assuaged as he publicizes his site more to actual potential clients.
Anyway, I don't plan on keeping the counter permanently, but I was just curious. So there you go.
In other "meta" news, you may have noticed that I added a couple of links to the diary page to a couple of other projects I've got going. One is a bulletin board, which has been going for a while, but which I finally decided to link to from this site. The other is a music log I decided to start in order to keep track of and remember the concerts I go to. Yes, I can barely keep this journal going, yet I decided to start another. I know, it makes no sense.
In real life news, I have been working a lot, although not as much as I should have this weekend. On Thursday, I ran into a classmate of mine whom I hadn't seen in several months. I asked her how she was doing and she told me "well, I'm giving my thesis seminar tomorrow [i.e. graduating] so I'm a little stressed out!" "Oh my god! Congratulations!" I said, through clenched teeth. Well, not really. I really was happy for her. But at the same time...I wouldn't exactly call it jealousy, because it's not as if I felt I deserved to be in her position. I was more just mad at myself for not working harder, for not being smarter about what I should have been working on, blah, blah, blah. I don't know, maybe that is jealousy. I wish I were graduating, but I know that it's my own fault that I haven't yet. I think my progress is pretty average compared to most of my classmates; some have graduated or are about to, but most haven't. Still, I'm starting to feel very ready to be done with grad school.