"Day-By-Day Amherst Police Calls"
Reprinted from the "Amherst Bulletin"
Heartfelt thanks to Dan Rosenblatt for giving me this idea, and Courtney Wade for making its execution possible
Amherst, MA is the town where I grew up and where my parents live now. It's an idyllic little college town, but even in Amherst, the spectre of crime occasionally rears its ugly head. So, here are excerpts from the weekly police report which appears in the local paper. What it lacks in excitement, it makes up for with absurdity.
MONDAY, 3 JUNE
2:33 a.m. A duffle bag that had been left at the Peter Pan bus terminal was found by police and held for the owner.
5:45 a.m. A construction crew was told not to begin work until 7 a.m. at Emily Lane.
9:19 p.m. Loud music was reported, but not found, at Rolling Green Apartments.
11:03 p.m. A warning for loud music was given to someone at Main Street.
2:46 a.m. The owner of a horse that was loose on Bay Road was found and asked to retrieve it.
TUESDAY, 4 JUNE
1:06 a.m. A possible prowler was reported at an Adams Street residence, but police found no one there.
10:25 a.m. A woman sleeping in the doorway of St. Brigid's parish hall was sent away.
10:51 a.m. A distraught woman was reported at the telephone booth near Town Hall. She was gone when police arrived.
2:58 p.m. A Village Park resident told police she paid for a magazine and then feared that she had been a victim of a scam. Police assisted.
10:54 p.m. A woman was given a ride from Hadley to the town center.
10:25 a.m. A loose dog was gone when police arrived at Boltwood Walk.
6:43, 10:56, 11:21 p.m. Verbal warnings for loud music or loud parties were given to people at Grantwood Drive, at Village Park, and at Sunset Avenue.
10:54 p.m. A woman was given a ride from Hadley to the town center.
WEDNESDAY, 5 JUNE
3:24 p.m. Four men in a van at Clifton Avenue were found to be waiting for someone while he walked a dog.
3:49 p.m. Amherst Towing complained of a past incident with a rude customer.
5 p.m. Police assisted someone locked out of Ann Whalen Apartments.
5:17 p.m. Unsupervised toddlers at Southpoint Apartments were gone when police arrived.
7:38 p.m. Small children playing in a dumpster at Watson farms were gone when police arrived.
1:29 p.m. A woman's wallet was found at Russell's Package Store and turned over to police, who notified the owner.
2:17 a.m. Warnings for loud music and other noise were given to people at Mill Valley Estates and Edgehill Place.
THURSDAY, 6 JUNE
8:56 a.m. A man was reported to be lying in bushes on Triangle Street. He was gone when police arrived.
9:04 a.m. Three men who left their vehicle to go into woods at the intersection of Deepwoods Drive and Arlington Road were gone when police arrived.
4:18 p.m. A suspicious man was reported to be hanging around the bicycle path on several occasions.
5:25 p.m. Four people loading items in a car turned out to be employees of Spirit Haus.
7:08 a.m. A McClellan Street resident reported receiving an unpleasant message on an answering machine.
5:23 p.m. Police assisted someone locked out of Ann Whalen Apartments.
10:56 p.m. A Main Street caller complained about his neighbors, but police found nothing amiss.
11:22 a.m. A recycling box was found at Lincoln Avenue and turned over to police.
9:50 p.m. Two women drove away without paying $11.72 for gasoline at College Street.
2:18 p.m. People with dogs on the beach at Puffer's Pond were gone when police arrived
4:18, 8:23 p.m. A bear was reported twice in an Amity Place yard, but it was gone when police arrived.
6:05 p.m. A gray poodle was struck and killed by a car at Watson Farms.
5:44 p.m. Someone drove across a North East Street yard.
FRIDAY, 7 JUNE
1:02 a.m. A Lincoln Avenue resident reported that several youths had carried off a trampoline. The trampoline was found in a nearby yard and was restored to the owner by police.
2:36 p.m. A man who called customers names at McDonald's Express was gone when police arrived.
7:29 a.m. A screaming elderly woman at Village Park had fallen and was taken by town ambulance to The Cooley Dickinson Hospital.
12:13 p.m. A woman reported lying on grass at Northampton Road with her groceries strewn around her turned out to be taking a nap.
12:33 a.m. People inside a center business proved to be employees.
12:39, 2:39 a.m., 10:46 p.m. Warnings for loud parties, loud music and other noise were given to people at Cross Brook Drive, Puffton Village and North Pleasant Street.
8:38 p.m. Youths listening to loud music outside Rolling Green Apartments fled when police arrived.
11:04 p.m. Loud music was reported, but not found, at Amity Street.
11:16 p.m. A man driving around calling for his dog at Greenwich Road was gone when police arrived.
9:05 a.m. Police assisted a North East Street resident with a bat.
9:39 a.m. A dog confined to a vehicle at Mill Valley Estates was found by police to be well tended by its owner.
10:53 a.m. A bear cub knocked over a bird feeder at Sunset Avenue, but it was gone when police arrived.
10:43 a.m. Cars parked in no parking zones on Gray Street received tickets.
2:38 p.m. Police exchanged paperwork with Belchertown police at Belchertown Road.
SATURDAY, 8 JUNE
8:13 a.m. A man ranting in the area of North Pleasant Street was gone when police arrived, but they were able to identify him from his description.
12:06 p.m. Police assisted someone locked out of Ann Whalen Apartments.
2:09 p.m. Someone tried to steal a large tarpaulin from a Heatherstone Road roof.
2:06 a.m. Police asked people at Main Street to speak more quietly.
3:11 a.m. Loud people in an East Hadley Road field were gone when police arrived.
7:14 a.m. A bear cub ripped down a bird feeder at South East Street.
8:37 p.m. Two geese were killed by a vehicle at the intersection of Sunderland Road and Route 116.
SUNDAY, 9 JUNE
11:24 a.m. People target shooting at the landfill were gone when police arrived.
12:03 p.m. Police resolved a situation in which a Southpoint resident was receiving annoying telephone calls.
4:44 p.m. A man left his vehicle and began yelling at the intersection of College and South Pleasant Streets. He then reentered the vehicle and drove away. Police were able to identify him.
11:30 p.m. A suspicious vehicle was reported, but not found, near school buses at the junior high school.
10:12 a.m. A young boy at Townehouse Apartments handcuffed himself and police were called to release him.
12:49 p.m. Police assisted an Arbor Way resident with a child cought in a broken chair. The child was not injured.
3:20 p.m. Police asked the driver of a moving van to move out of a Village Park woman's parking space.
8:12 p.m. Two tires were deflated on a vehicle at Brandywine Apartments.
9:53 a.m. Cars racing each other on West Street were reported, but not located.
10:11 a.m. A disabled vehicle was restarted at the intersection of East Pleasant and Triangle Streets.
1:05 a.m. A youth was taken from downtown to Sunderland.
2:54 p.m. Police were called to a possible fire at Hitching Post Road, but burnt toast was the cause of smoke.
MONDAY, 10 JUNE
12:15 a.m. Fireworks were reported, but not found, at the intersection of North Pleasant and Triangle Streets.
6:59 a.m. A man lying on the Town Common was gone when police arrived.
9:08, 11:15 a.m. Police checked on the well-being of a man sleeping in a car at The Boulders and found he was fine. His vehicle was later stopped on East Hadley Road, but no other information was available.
10:05 a.m. A South East Street resident reported that a credit card was stolen out of her mail. Police arranged to have the card cancelled.
10:01 a.m. Police checked the well-being of a woman at Tamarack Drive who had not showed up for work. They found she was sick at home.
11:27 p.m. A loud whistle coming from Panda East restaurant was traced to a vacuum cleaner.
TUESDAY, 11 JUNE
4:10 a.m. A man sleeping in a car outside Copy Cat Print Shop on Triangle Street proved to be an employee of the business.
5:17 a.m. Youths hanging around Silverscape Designs on North Pleasant Street were sent away by police.
6:08 p.m. A man with a large snake reported at the Village Park playground was found to be harmless. The snake was a pet.
11:11 p.m. A suspicious person was reported on Old Farm Road, but he was gone when police arrived.
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